Concise Writing

Here are a few rules to think about when trying to write concisely:

1. Omit needless words.

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all sentences short, or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.

Many expressions in common use violate this principle.

• whether Not: the question as to whether 
• he Not: he is a man who 
• hastily Not: in a hasty manner 
• because Not: the reason why is that

The fact that is an especially debilitating expression, should be revised out of every sentence in which it occurs.

• I was unaware that or did not know Not: I was unaware of the fact that
• since or because Not: owing to the fact that
• remind you or notify you Not: call your attention to the fact that

A common way to fall into wordiness is to present a single complex idea, step by step, in a series of sentences that might to advantage be combined into one.

• Macbeth was very ambitious. This led him to wish to become king of Scotland. The witches told him that this wish of his would come true. The king of Scotland at this time was Duncan. Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth murdered Duncan. He was thus enabled to succeed Duncan as king. (51 words)
  
  
• Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth achieved his ambition and realized the prediction of the witches by murdering Duncan and becoming king of Scotland in his place. (26 words)

2. Replace vague words  with more specific words.

Often, writers use several small and ambiguous words to express a concept, wasting energy expressing ideas better relayed through fewer specific words. As a general rule, more specific words lead to more concise writing. Because of the variety of nouns, verbs, and adjectives, most things have a closely corresponding description. Brainstorming or searching a thesaurus can lead to the word best suited for a specific instance. Notice that the examples below actually convey more as they drop in word count.

• Wordy: The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his speech. (14 words)
• Concise: The politician touted after-school programs in his speech. (8 words)
  
  
• Wordy: Suzie believed but could not confirm that Billy had feelings of affection for her. (14 words)
• Concise: Suzie assumed that Billy adored her. (6 words)
  
  
• Wordy: Our Web site has made available many of the things you can use for making a decision on the best dentist. (20 words)
• Concise: Our website presents criteria for determining the best dentist. (9 words)
  
  

3. Be direct.

Too many writers back into what they have to say. A straightforward statement like He didn't intend to ruin your flower bed comes out His intention was not to ruin your flower bed.

Don't mince words. If what you mean is, Mom reorganized my closet brilliantly, don't water it down by saying, Mom's reorganization of my closet was brilliant.

Here are a couple of other examples:

• Their house was destroyed in 1993. Not: The destruction of their house occurred in 1993.
• We concluded that Roger's an idiot. Not: Our conclusion was that Roger's an idiot.

If you have something to say, be direct about it. As in geometry, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

4. Combine sentences.

Some information does not require a full sentence, and can easily be inserted into another sentence without losing any of its value. 

• Wordy: Ludwig's castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. By his death, he had commissioned three castles. (18 words)
• Concise: Ludwig's three castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness.
  (11 words)
  
  
• Wordy: The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947. (24 words)
• Concise: The supposed 1947 crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. (16 words)

In order to practice we'll use this document.